


Of Earnest Hemingway, Edgar Allan Poe, and E L James

by spatialsoloist



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, M/M, Reading is fun kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-21
Updated: 2013-08-21
Packaged: 2017-12-24 06:11:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/936333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spatialsoloist/pseuds/spatialsoloist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John comes home after a non-exciting day of work while Sherlock is reading something very exciting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Earnest Hemingway, Edgar Allan Poe, and E L James

**Author's Note:**

> While one the bus today Sam and I saw this guy reading a book giving tips about improving one's sex life. That's all.

"I'm home-"

 

"I know."

 

"Then you'd do well to give me a hand with all these groceries, wouldn't you? It's not like you do anything else other than hog the good seat by the fire," John muttered as he awkwardly shuffled sideways into the flat, arms laden with plastic shopping bags. Despite his gloved hands, his fingers were frozen from the quickly chilling October weather and his face was still beat-red from the merciless wind.

 

"I am doing something," Sherlock retorted indignantly, perfectly cozy in his fluffy bathrobe and squishy slippers. "I'm reading."

 

He was, indeed, reading. It was a thin paperback easily purchasable at the local bookstore, the kind that Molly liked to complain about how quickly fingerprints would ruin the glossy surface. Sherlock was already halfway through, turning the pages with his long fingers as his eyebrows furrowed slightly in concentration. On any other day John would've scoffed, heaved the bags to the fridge by himself, cram everything into the limited space, and then head off for a hot shower that his boyfriend may or may not partake in as well. But not today, because despite all the usual features about the paperback in Sherlock's hands, the title was anything but.

 

" _His Needs, Her Needs_?" John read aloud. " _Find new and creative ways to make your romance sizzle_? Are you reading a book for relationship advice?" he asked incredulously.

 

"It's more than that," Sherlock said absent-mindedly as he licked his finger and turned another page. John frowned and walked over, trying to read to smaller words on the back of the book.

 

" _Discover what makes your partner tick with these simple tips and turn a good sex life into a great one!_ Are you reading a book for sex tips?"

 

"Excellent deduction John," Sherlock sighed, rolling his eyes for good measure. "You'll go places, you will."

 

"Very funny," John snapped as he crossed his arms, trying not to blush. "Firstly, none of us are female, so I wonder exactly what kind of tips you're going to pick up. And also, what exactly is wrong with our sex life?"

 

"Nothing," Sherlock shrugged. "But who's to say that there isn't room for improvement?"

 

"…you think this is another experiment, don't you."

 

"Everything's an experiment one way or another," the detective yawned. "Think about it. We experience so many things in our lives, yet there are always new discoveries. Why? Because we strive to search for greater things. Sex could be the same."

 

"Then why half-arse it and pick some run-of-the-mill magazine ripoff?" John groaned, pressing his palms over his eyes. "Read the Kama Sutra or something, damn it."

 

"Already read it," Sherlock replied without missing a beat, and John whipped his head up to stare at his boyfriend.

 

"You. Read the Kama Sutra."

 

Sherlock sighed heavily in exasperation. "Come _on_ , John, who hasn't?"

 

John gaped for a few moments, at loss for words, before a look of horrified realization dawned on his face. "Oh my god. That copy of _Fifty Shades of Grey_ I found in the kitchen two months ago was yours, wasn't it?"

 

"Maybe," Sherlock said, finally closing the ridiculous book to fix John with an interested look. "Why? Who'd you think it belonged to?"

 

"I don't know!" John cried a little hysterically. "Molly? Mrs. Hudson? Jesus, why would I care?"

 

Sherlock snorted so hard his curls bounced. "As if Mrs. Hudson would have a book like that. And Molly would be a Jane Austen girl, wouldn't you agree?"

 

"I am so not having this conversation with you," John groaned, turning away back to their bedroom, but Sherlock was suddenly leaping out of his seat, a look of intense urgency on his face.

 

"John! Before you go, I need your help in conducting an experiment!"

 

"What?!" John snapped, only to have Sherlock's abnormally large hands cup his jaw in a surprisingly gentle manner as the taller man leaned down a pressed his lips tightly to John's, his tongue sliding in seamlessly. John flailed in surprised and backed up into the table, feeling weak-kneed as Sherlock carefully tugged his face closer so that their noses rubbed, the detective's sharp cheekbones bumped right against John's cheek and their legs had to fumble to find even footing. This was so unlike Sherlock's usual kissing technique, which was quick and straight to the point, much like his personality. John kissed back dazedly, his own hands carefully winding around Sherlock's narrow waist. To be honest… it felt pretty good.

 

And of course, that was when Sherlock decided to break the kiss, a spectacular grin on his face as he announced, "Interesting. Looks like that _run-of-the-mill magazine ripoff_ isn't so bad after all, is it, John?"

 

John's jaw dropped and he removed his hands from his boyfriend's sides, his face bypassing red and turning crimson.  _Son_ of a  _bitch_.

 

Sherlock laughed and bounded back to his comfy perch on his couch, his expression one of smug pride as he cracked the paperback open again.

 

John shut his mouth and wheeled around to walk back into the kitchen where the shopping bags had been, unattended for the time being. It would be a good idea to put them away before something spoiled.

 

But before he did such a thing, he walked by the counter, where the rows and rows of carefully controlled bacteria colonies had been growing for the past two days in Sherlock's sealed jars.

 

Nonchalantly, John opened each of them and tossed the lids into the bin, a bit of childish glee spreading within him.

 

Two could play this "experiment" game.

 

End


End file.
